I was talking with a dear client of mine this morning — a dad who is constantly willing to work on himself to become the father his children need — and I was inspired to write to you.
You see, this client has a wonderful, intelligent, quirky, and funny child who struggles in completing his morning routine without a. lot. of prompts from his parents. He is slow, methodical, sometimes distracted and most definitely a dawdler!
And, it drives my client batty.
Today he let his irritation, frustration, and impatience spill out onto his child. Nothing major. Just a slight raise in volume. A certain tone of voice. A gritting of teeth.
But his son got the message.
When my client leaned in to the car to give his son a kiss, the boy said, “Why are you kissing me?”
The father replied, “Because even when I am frustrated, I still love you.”
“I wish you didn’t, because then maybe I wouldn’t be so slow.”
My client’s heart sank.
He dropped his kids off at school and then he called me.
We talked about all the reasons that he felt irritated, frustrated, and impatient with his child, most of which had nothing to do with the child or the behavior.
Then we talked about all the things we know about his child. Things that have been true since he was a just a toddler.
He gets easily distracted. He moves at a slow pace. He loves to joke around and have fun. He’s curious about the world.
EVEN (maybe especially) when he should be getting dressed and brushing his teeth.
And then my client got it!
“It’s all about acceptance isn’t it?” he asked me.
DING! DING! DING! DING!
If my client can come to truly accept his child for all of his personality and temperamental traits, only then will he be able to guide his child through the challenging behavior with a calm and loving energy.
Does your child have a behavior that just drives you crazy? Do you think that acceptance could help you meet that behavior in a different way than you have in the past?
Leave a comment below and let me know. I’d love to hear from you!
With all my love,